In the Glorious Darkness Lives an Elegant Swan

Beneath the haunting beauty
Of an autumnal moon
The lonely one was born
Within the meadow of my mind.

Screaming and crawling,
Gnarled shadows on the wall.
Withered and worn,
Gnarled shadows in my head.

I wanted someone to save me,
Someone to lift me,
But I kept falling (down).
Down and down 'til I just stayed.

Like the empty stone gaze of an ancient statue,
I saw the silence of your eyes
When you slowly retreated
To your warm, comfortable shell.

On ships from distant lands
Came words that were dismal.
These sorrows,
I wept as I sowed.

They blossomed in a garden of grief
One thousand footsteps long,
And I wept
As I reaped.

The ugly duckling
Grew with the poet's pain
To finally ride upon
The graceful wings of a swan.

I have seen the beauty of ugliness
And the darkness of a life,
And I have shivered
When dusk has fallen.

I have trembled,
Not only for the baying wind,
But for my own mortality
When I went down with the sun.

And I have seen you take pleasure
In slowly twisting the knife
As I lay there in pain,
As I cried there in pain.

But so easily not is a swan killed,
And a poet's pain can rage,
So beware the eve'
When the moon lights not.

For fitful and troubled
May be my rest,
And the darkness has returned
Once again.

---

Originally written:    December 6, 2003
Put online:    December 28, 2003
Discussion:    This is an ugly duckling/beautiful swan poem. It starts out with the ugly duckling and the confusion perhaps that can accompany that label. However, maturity (along with deep and extended introspection and reflection) leads to the realization that the ugly duckling can be a beautiful swan (artistically speaking). Being an ugly duckling is not a bad thing at all as it makes one unique. Being the black sheep may cause my spirit to bend, but it will never break, and I will fly with my independence. The poem also asks the question, "Are you trying to bring me down?" and gives a vague warning to knock it off (though, honestly, I'm perfectly harmless). This is mainly aimed at those who don't bother to take the time to find out what somebody is all about. Many times then they'll simply leave you alone. Finally, the poem is a kind of "fuck you." I'll do what I want because I ultimately don't care what you think.


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