Thy Pyre
'Tis I alone
Standing still and silent
As stone,
Snow to my knees,
And around me
A ring of majestic naked trees.
The darkness of the night
Is broken only by
The moon and great multitude of stars
Far above my somber head
And by the torch in my freezing hand,
Its angry flame waltzing
In the frigid winter wind.
The darkness of my heart,
Impenetrable!
Before me you lie,
Raised above the snow
In this great desolate night.
Thy lifeless limbs rest
Upon those cut from my only true companions
In this sorrowful hour.
I step forward and sigh.
I pause to think
Of you and I.
When we were young,
There was a time
That we would laugh
And we would run.
We shared a dulcet kiss.
I said I adored,
You whispered, "I know."
I tasted thy sweet tongue,
Licked thy salty chest,
And caressed thy warm, smooth breasts.
Thy raven hair.
Thy crystal eyes.
Thy cream skin.
Thy soft touch.
Thy midnight lips.
Thy sanguine nails.
Thy delicious scent.
Thy warm smile.
Thy caring ear.
We promised to live as one...
Forever.
But something went wrong,
Although I know not what.
Now I sing this dirgeful song.
Thy pain you kept to thyself.
You kept me out
Though I wanted to help.
You could no longer hide,
Could no longer run,
From the torment and anguish
You kept locked inside.
Our hopes became undone
On thy final sullen evening
When I became just one.
The last you whispered to me, "Good-bye."
Now outside the sphere of death I understand,
Though I still don't really know the why.
I tried to help you.
Lords, I tried and I pled to help,
But you did what you felt you had to do.
Thy fragile hand.
Thy tearful embrace.
Thy woeful farewell.
I kissed you one last time,
Closed the door,
Choked back a sob.
I paused, knowing what was coming,
And cringed at the blast.
And suddenly all our dreams were swept aside
By a loaded gun
On the eve' you died.
I'm so lonely.
Oh, I am so very lonely.
I step forward again
And raise my torch,
Staring deep into the flame.
Gazing upon thy wrapped body,
I touch my torch to the dry wood
And watch the enraged fire
Race towards thy lifeless limbs.
Memories of days gone by and happier times
Rise with the hazy cloud
That stings my searing eyes
And fills my mouth
With burning leaves and woodsmoke taste.
Smoke of birch and pine arises from the huge funeral pyre,
Snakes through the trees to the stars,
And tarnishes the bright silver light of the full moon.
I step back and drop my torch to the snow
As the flames reach thy wrapped body
And singe the cloth from white to brown.
I fall weeping to my knees
And release from my gut an unearthly wail
Of pain and agony.
The mighty trees bend to lament my loss.
The stars shake, the moon cries,
And the four elements alone try to comfort me.
Thy sweet tongue,
Thy salty chest,
Thy warm, smooth breasts,
Thy raven hair,
Thy crystal eyes,
Thy cream skin,
Thy midnight lips,
Thy sanguine nails,
Thy soft touch,
Thy delicious scent,
Thy warm smile,
Thy caring ear,
Thy final sullen evening,
Thy woeful farewell,
Thy unbearable pain,
Thy fragile hand,
Thy tearful embrace,
Thy lifeless limbs,
Thy wrapped body
All burned up in the flames and smoke
Of Thy Pyre,
Thy Lonely Funeral Pyre.
Thy Pyre (Act II: Everlasting Protector)
Arms entwined for many nights
We spent as one in candlelight.
I gazed into thy silver eyes,
Now never will you again arise.
My weak body, cloaked in grief,
Wars with my mind and the thoughts of a thief.
What I once held before thy last breath
Is now clutched tight in the claws of Death.
A meadow of loneliness is forever my home
In which to you I write this tome.
Oh, why did you go, my beautiful queen?
Demons or monsters or sadness unseen?
You kissed my tears and eased my pain.
I only wish I'd done the same.
Thus I stand on this exalted night
And watch thy ashes taking flight.
I'll stand forever and tend the fire.
I'll stand forever and tend Thy Pyre.
Thy Pyre (Act III: Life in Sleep)
I long for you and thy tender embrace.
Red hot tears run down my face,
And I have shunned the human race.
I'm dead to the world as it to me.
Complete isolation is all that I see,
For as are you, I shall be.
In the anguish and woe of Thy Lonely Pyre
I'll build my own with deep desire
And light it from thy enraged, angry fire.
But on this bed I do not sleep,
For in my place, thy vigil I keep.
Upon the limbs, my writings I heap.
My ashes rise to join with thine.
Their dance together is divine,
Lost forever in endless time.
With thy body burn my embers,
Remains of great oaken timber.
My being endures to only remember.
From this Earth art thou free
As thy ash floats off to infinity,
Yet I must remain, lonesome, to tread in misery.
For though in a metaphor, I am with thee,
I'm but really with you in my thoughts and my dreams.
'Tis here we'll remain for eternity.
Thy Pyre (Act IV: Song of a Goddess)
Dry thy falling tears, my exquisite king,
And allow my weary heart to sing,
To end thy pain and dull the sting.
My wish was mine and mine alone,
So please do not in mourning roam
Or let thy sorrow turn to stone.
In a long, black dress with crimson silk and purple velvet,
I wait for you without regret
But beg you do not join me yet.
For you have still a life to live
And so much to the world to give.
Move on, again, you'll learn to live.
I'm happier now than ever before,
Though the thought of you still makes me mourn,
For in my heart, a bed of thorns.
In life, I'm no longer by thy side.
And though upon Death's great steed I ride,
I haven't left since the night I died.
We live forever in thy memories
And in thy dreams eternally.
We'll live together in thy sleep.
I promise, my elegant majesty,
That when you die, we will be happy,
But now is not the time for thee.
I'll speak to you through the tapestry
Of long, dark shadows and creaking trees;
I'll bathe thy body in gentle breeze.
I am not lost but have only changed form.
Thy veil of melancholy need not be worn.
My Pyre shall always keep thee warm.
Lament, but I plead you not be bitter,
And there is no need for you to suffer,
For I am alive in all the Aether.
For I am now the sphere of the stars,
The light of the moon,
And the roar of the winds.
I am now the sound of the snows
Falling upon ancient forests.
I am now the flow of the tides
And the chorus of rain
And thunder
And powerful storms.
I am now the whisper of night
And foggy light.
I am now beneath thy feet.
I am now the blood in thy veins
And the air in thy lungs.
For I am now the flames of My Pyre.
For I am now...As I shall be forevermore,
Lo, as we shall be forevermore.
Originally written:
December 8, 1999; September 2, 2000 (Act II); September 2-3, 2000 (Act III); September 15, 2000 (Act IV)
Put online:
April 15, 2001
Discussion:
This poem is, in my opinion, one of my finest works. It is also one of my favorite poems. I think this piece is fairly easy to understand. It explores the pain of losing someone close to you. It is important to note, however, that the man feels only sadness towards his dead woman. The other emotions typically felt along with the death of someone close (i.e. anger) are not present in the man but are present in other objects in the poem (i.e. angry fire). This implies that something higher than humans (such as pagan "gods") is angered. Furthermore, I wanted to keep pounding away at the sadness of the man, and I felt anger would be out of character for him. This apparently worked because "Thy Pyre" has caused some readers to cry. When I originally wrote the first part (at one time titled "Thy Pyre: Death of a Goddess"), I had no intention of continuing it. However, like My Dying Bride's Sear Me, I couldn't leave it alone, thus Acts II, III, and IV were born. I always wanted a multi-part poem, and now I want one even longer. The first part is obviously about the woman's death and her committal to the flames of her pyre. Act II has the man perhaps feeling some guilt and confusion over the woman's death, and he will always tend the eternal flame of her pyre in his heart. Act III is the most abstract part. The man symbolically kills himself (by putting that which is most personal to him--his writings--on another pyre) to be, in ashen form, with his woman. It also touches on the concept of social death. As this part is very abstract and figurative, it was very difficult to write, explain, and title. Act IV is the woman's response. She speaks to the man from beyond her pyre, and there is kind of a mutual acceptance/understanding of what happened and what the future holds.
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