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Hey, Ma, look! That body's got no head. It's over there in the corner. It's covered in red. Carve a new tombstone. Hey, Ma, look! A car crashed in the ditch. There's someone moving inside. Do you think it's a witch? Burn all the bitches. Hey, Ma, look! That guy just got shot. I can see through his chest. He don't look so hot. People ain't bulletproof. Hey, Timmy, look! That chick got hit by a train. Over there's her unborn kid. On the tracks is her brain. Dig two more graves. Hey, Timmy, look! Bones are sticking out of that guy's flesh. The blood is still dripping. It's gotta be fresh. Notify the next of kin. Hey, Timmy, look! There's intestines on the ground. But the guy is still up. He's still running around. He won't last much longer. Hey, Tim, look! There's maggots devouring that man's face. They seem to enjoy it. Is a decaying body a cozy place? Better get the dental records. Hey, Tim, look! That chick's in the lake floating face down. She's got nothing on. Wearing only a frown. Ever see a naked woman before? Hey, Tim, look! That guy's falling from the building. The hardhat won't help. It'll be a hell of a landing. He's gonna end up a little bit shorter. Hey, Angie, look! That dude is burning alive. He's still rolling around. But I don't think he'll survive. Do you suppose he's thirsty? Hey, Angie, look! That woman is clutching a wire. Look really close. Her eyes are on fire. Electrocution's a bitch, ain't it. Hey, Angie, look! That kid's got a spike in her eye. It comes out the other side of her head. I'll bet that's how she died. Do you think she saw it coming? Hey, Honey, look! That guy cut off his leg with his chainsaw. It's lying in the sawdust. It looks awful raw. I wonder how he did that. Hey, Honey, look! Those two got knives in their hearts. They don't look too bad. They're not missing other parts. The love triangle has been put to rest. Hey, Honey, look! There's a guy squirming on the floor. He's got rebar piercing his thorax. Can he take anymore? Time of death is 11:43. Hey, Son, look! Blood's gurgling from that chick's throat. What do you think happened? Overzealous garrote? Probably a butcher knife. Hey, Son, look! That man's bleeding from the eyes. It's some kind of disease. Much worse than the hives. It's contagious; don't get too close. Hey, Son, look! There's been an explosion in space. The one guy left can't do a thing. And check out his face. This ain't exactly his finest hour. | This is quite obviously the death part of the poem. I tried to imagine a city and a bunch of ways that a person could die and be seen therein. From there, I made up short stories about each victim's death along with a rather flippant closing remark about each which should be read with a tone approaching "so what, I don't care." |
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Hey, Somebody, look! An evil woman's got Her filthy hands inside my cranium. She climbs up and crawls right in. She's digging around searching for something that She likes. She finds it and takes it. She rips it out without even asking. She assures me that, together, we are as one, But She takes off on Her flaming-winged Eagles, Leaving me to mumble insanely to myself, With myself, And by myself. |
This is the second part of the poem. The path down the road to insanity has begun. The full-blown insanity part follows. |
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There's this little place, This little place called space. And there's a band that plays in this little place called space. And the name of that band is Floyd, Floyd, Floyd, Floyd. |
As mentioned in the Discussion of the original poem, a lot of this work is derived from a Patti Smith song. That song is "Land: Horses, Land of a Thousand Dances, La Mer (De)" from the Horses (1975) album. These lines are modified/borrowed from the Patti Smith tune. |
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Red Floyd, Green Floyd, Brown Floyd. Pink Floyd. Pink Floyd. |
N/A. From here on, any lines that are original or have no special meaning behind them will be denoted with 'N/A.' |
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Set the controls. Oberon, Miranda, and Titania, |
From Pink Floyd's "Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun." |
| Alpha, beta, omicron, Omega. | A, B, O blood types; also Alpha and Omega from the Bible's Book of Revelations (the Bible can be an excellent reference tool at times). |
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Do the Batusi. Not the Watusi. Yeah, do the Batusi And the Hokey Pokey. Dance the Jitterbug, Bump and Grind. Twist to the left, twist to the right. |
From Patti Smith. 'Batusi' is a reference to Bob and Brian, the morning DJs on Lazer 103 in Milwaukee (who referred to "The Simpsons" and "Batman" television shows). |
| Twist to the left, trip down the Left. | Travel down the Left Hand Path (of Satanism). |
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Now Swing your partner 'round and 'round. 'Round and 'round and 'round you'll go. Grab your partner and do-si-do. |
Grade school square dancing lessons in gym class. |
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Eagles, Eagles, Eagles, Eagles. White shining silver heads, With their wings of flames And their eyes of ice. |
Modified Patti Smith. |
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Sleep with Satan And drink with God. Suck off Lucifer's fire dick. | N/A. |
| You're His Left Hand man. | Another reference to the Left Hand Path. |
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Yeah, go, Speed Racer! Go, Speed Racer, go! |
From the "Speed Racer" cartoon. |
| Hi-ya, Schpank! | A common saying (nickname) from work. |
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Get Jesus drunk. Watch the angels cry. That's the Jinglebell Rock! Uh-huh! |
N/A. |
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Dammit, Warren! What the HELL are you doing? |
Heard in an apartment complex after an appointment for work. |
| Oberon! | From Pink Floyd's "Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun." |
| Don't touch me! | From Sepultura's "Mine." |
| Do you find it necessary? | From Sepultura's "War." |
| Conjunction Junction, | From "Conjunction Junction." |
| Is it really needed? | N/A. |
| If you know where to find them... | From "The A-Team" opening theme. |
| What's your function? | From "Conjunction Junction." |
| No purchase necessary. | A common disclaimer. |
| Death is necessary! | Sort of from Tool's "Disgustipated." |
| Void where EVIL! | A modified common disclaimer. |
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Your God is Evil! Evil, Evil, Evil! |
From a poet at a reading whose name I do not recall. |
| I will NOT recant! | From White Zombie's "Super-Charger Heaven." |
| 0 | N/A. |
| 09110101190 | A palindrome of 091101, September 11, 2001. |
| pi | The mathematical constant. |
| 13 | "Bad luck." |
| 1066 | The Battle of Hastings. I remember the year from 5th grade but no details about the battle, etc. |
| 93 | 1993--Waco, Texas. |
| 27 | A reference to "Weird Al" Yankovic. |
| 66 | ????? A random number? |
| Meep, Meep! | From the "Road Runner" cartoon. |
| 69 | The sexual position/activity. |
| 77 snakes | The year I was born; the Chinese year of the snake; one of my nicknames is Cobra. |
| 666 | The Mark of the Beast from the Book of Revelations. |
| 1492 | Columbus sailed the ocean blue (heh-heh). |
| 1776 | Year of U.S. independence. |
| 1945 | WWII; first atomic bomb used in war, Japan surrendered, war basically over. |
| MCML -III -XIII -XVIII | Roman numerals for 1953 (first "Playboy" magazine published, Stalin dies, Watson and Crick uncover double helix of DNA), 1963 (JFK assassinated, Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I have a dream" speech), and 1968 (Robert F. Kennedy and MLK Jr. assassinated, Tet Offensive in Vietnam). |
| Two-thousand, thousand, thousand, thousand, | The "Y2K" scare. |
| Million, billion, trillion. | N/A. |
| 2525...but only if man is still alive. | From Zager & Evans's "In the Year 2525 (Exordium & Terminus)." |
| Owls swoop, bats fly. | N/A. |
| Stampede of a hundred drunk elephants. | Something my high school drafting teacher would say a lot. |
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Vultures, sharks, sharks, vultures Rise from the acrid smoke To peck out the psychotic eyes. Poison slaves Feast with the naked dead On Cheerios and Count Chocula and Chicken Patti Smith Sandwiches. |
Stream of Consciousness. |
| Slay the Earth. | From My Dying Bride's "A Kiss to Remember." |
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Everywhere is war. War is everywhere. War! WAR! | From Sepultura's "War." |
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Eagles, Eagles, Eagles, Eagles, With talons of scalpels And tails of the undead. |
Modified Patti Smith. |
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Bees and bestiality and Bea Arthur and BeeBop and Rock Steady And Don't Worry, Be Happy and Let it Be and Be Afraid and Betty White, Necking and necromancer and necrophilia. |
Stream of Consciousness. |
| "Hello, Clarice." | From "The Silence of the Lambs." |
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Go, Speed Racer! | From the "Speed Racer" cartoon. |
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Sabbath. Bodies burning in red ashes. |
Black Sabbath reference (old version of "War Pigs"). |
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Flames hungrily lapping at the boiling eyes. Is Satan a good fuck? |
N/A. |
| Seventy-two. | Backwards 27 ("Weird Al" Yankovic reference). |
| Omicron blood. | Type O blood. |
| Plus, minus. | Blood Rh factor. |
| Negative 92. | My birthdate: 2-17-77 = -92 |
| Dark, light. | N/A. |
| Red Green and yellow. | Reference to "Red Green" TV show, plus 3rd stoplight color. |
| "!itatirom suknulf inmo odnauQ" | From "Red Green." When in doubt, play dead (backwards Latin). |
| Are you even trying da' secret weapon, eh? | Again from "Red Green." Duct tape is the secret weapon. |
| Cobras hiss and monkeys squeal with delight. | N/A. |
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Houston? A problem? |
From "Apollo 13." Houston is also the name of a porn star. |
| Oklahoma! | Must be sung like the musical; also refers to the Oklahoma City bombing. |
| War! | From Sepultura's "War." |
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Knock, knock! Go away! Nobody's here! Ring, ring. |
Stream of Consciousness. |
| Message for you, Sir! | From "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." |
| It's Linda. | From Dave Letterman ("Something from the meat case, Linda?"). |
| Jerry, are you out there? | A reference to Jerry Springer; also one of my drivers at work. |
| Goat head! | Jerry's typical response over the two-way radio; also a reference to the Mendes Goat of Satanism in the Baphomet. |
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The dingoes in drag are dragging the dragons Away from the scorpions and lizards and mayhem. Space case place race. |
Stream of Consciousness. |
| Objects in mirror are deader than they appear. | A modified common disclaimer. |
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Let the knife dip in, Slice deep into the breast. |
Modified Patti Smith. |
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Nipple! Go-Go Speed Racer Dancing. Rip out chunks of brain And let it rain. |
Stream of Consciousness. |
| We are as one. | From My Dying Bride's "Like Gods of the Sun." |
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Eagles, Eagles, Eagles, Eagles, With tongues of fire-eyed serpents And screams of the dead and the dying, Fly with rabid bats Over the howling wolves, coyotes, and dogs Lining Bert and Ernie's Sesame Street Where rats gnaw on Playboy Bunnies Feeding on spiders, maggots, and other insects. |
Modified Patti Smith and Stream of Consciousness. |
| I'll take Potpourri for $100, please, Alex. | A reference to "Jeopardy!" |
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No way, you fuckin'... God...damn...FUCK! Got shit on, Pissed on, Spit on, Stepped on, Fucked with, And pointed at! |
From Pantera's "Walk" and "A New Level" (Live version for the 'God...damn...FUCK!' part). |
| Take Bruce for the block. | A reference to "Hollywood Squares" (Bruce Vilanch). |
| What's your theory, Chuckie? | Charles Darwin's Theory of Evolution. |
| A G C T. | Adenine, guanine, cytosine, thymine--nitrogenous bases of DNA nucleotides. |
| I'm a little teapot. | From the children's song. |
| T minus 10. | The countdown begins. |
| Our lives are closing. | From My Dying Bride's "Like Gods of the Sun." |
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Could you help me, please? Yeah, baby. |
N/A. |
| I'd like to buy a vowel, Pat. | From "Wheel of Fortune." |
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T minus tea minus teat minus 9. Mein Herr? Would you like to play Nazi Yahtzee? Die Toten kommen. Masturbate. T minus 8 masturbate the penis and vagina, Asia, Jenna, and Mr. North. |
The countdown continues. Stream of Consciousness. With a little German mixed in there for good measure. 'Asia, Jenna, and Mr. North' refers to Asia Carrera, Jenna Jameson, and Peter North, porn stars. |
| Go, Speed Racer! | From the "Speed Racer" cartoon. |
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I'm sorry, the area code for that number is now 777. Please make a note of it. |
Area code change message. The significance of 777 is too deep to go into here. |
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7 7 7! 7-11. Big Gulp. |
Stream of Consciousness. |
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Seven. Pride, avarice, envy, wrath, lust, gluttony, Sloth. "Hey, you guys!" |
The seven deadly sins. Sloth is capitalized because it's the name of the character in "The Goonies" that has the famous "Hey, you guys!" line. |
| Quod illud est, id non sum ego! | The Latinate title of a short story I wrote (translates to 'This is not who I am'). |
| 6! | The countdown continues. |
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Fry up some piranha. "Can you smell what the Rock is cookin'?" Mmm, smells like penguin, But tastes like chicken. |
Stream of Consciousness; a WWF wrestler's catch phrase (note, it must be read like he would say it); somebody's E-mail name; and a common saying. |
| Remember a day. | A Pink Floyd song of the same name. Here just meant to be 'remember a day when sanity was not a fleeting memory?' |
| 5! | The countdown continues. |
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Eagles, Eagles, Eagles, Eagles! Flying, flying, soaring. |
Modified Patti Smith. |
| 4! | The countdown continues. |
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FOUR RED DIAMONDS! It's tradition... And so is a bucket full of clearly. |
High school silliness and stupidity too involved to go into here. |
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4! 4 forms. A lion, an ox, a man, and an eagle. |
From the Book of Revelations. |
| Lions and tigers and jackals, oh my! | Modified "Wizard of Oz" quote. |
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4 colors, 4 horses. White, Red, Black, and...Corpse. Pestilence, War, Famine, and...Death. Flying, flying, soaring! |
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. |
| 3! | The countdown continues. |
| 3.141592654... | pi rounded to ten digits. Could be a phone number. |
| Hello, Aleister? | Aleister Crowley. |
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Bump and Grind. Twist to the Left. Bump and Twist, Left, Right, Up, Down In this little place called space. |
Stream of Consciousness. |
| 2! | The countdown continues. |
| Jesus Christ's drunken stupor! | N/A. |
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The Reaper surfing across the room On an overhead transparency sheet. |
This was a vision I had when I was sick as a child. I had a fever and some drugs and one weird-ass hallucination in my bedroom. |
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1010011010. 1100001001. |
Binary code for 666 and 777, respectively. |
| 1! | The countdown continues. |
| WAR! | From Sepultura's "War." |
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Eagles, Eagles, Eagles, Eagles, With legs of death, Bodies of Brown Floyd feathers, And beaks of golden brass. |
Modified Patti Smith. |
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Eagles, Eagles, Eagles, Eagles! Gather to watch. Dust. Lonely man has none. |
Modified Patti Smith; 'Dust' is a reference to Kansas's "Dust in the Wind." 'Gather to watch' and 'Lonely man has none' comes from The Moody Blues's "Nights in White Satin"...I think. |
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ready, Set,...Gryphon! GO! Go, Speed Racer, Go! Where are the motherFUCKING winged LIONS? |
Set is the Egyptian God of the Dead and another name for Satan. A Gryphon is a winged lion meant as a symbol of protection. The pitch and pace when reading this should be ridiculously frenzied at this point. 'Speed Racer' part is from the "Speed Racer" cartoon. |
| No...No...NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! | Taken from Metallica's "One" when sung live. |
| <SCREAM> | Part of Metal's Philosophy. When in doubt, scream. |
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| EAGLES! EAGLES! EAGLES! EAGLES! | Modified Patti Smith. |
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| zero | The countdown ends, as does the man's sanity, as he is rendered completely insane. When reading this, after screaming through the last four 'Eagles,' take a deep breath in, whisper 'zero,' and exhale forcefully. |