Covet?

Do you hunger for my body?
It's crippled, disfigured, and not very pleasing,
But out of my lungs, scarred life keeps on wheezing.
Look at it and you will see
Something that even hurts to be me.

Do you hunger for my mind?
It's scared and confused and not very knowing,
But out of my brain, dark thoughts keep on flowing.
Look inside and you will see
A lost soul in pure agony.

Do you hunger for my life?
It's simple and lonely and not very fun,
But out of my skin, I cannot run.
Look at me and you will see
Someone who wants no more than a finale.

Do you hunger for my heart?
It's black and calloused and just barely beating,
But out of my veins, cold blood keeps on fleeting.
Look outside and you will see
It's the only way I'll ever be free.

---

Originally written:    December 31, 1998 (and added to within the month following)
Put online:    March 10, 2001
Discussion:    This poem is one of my earlier works. It was written while I was in college, four years that were particularly difficult for me as those closest to me know. I was very unhappy with myself and my life at the time. The original reason for going to college was not happening, and I felt like I was wasting my time, both in school and in life. As this poem reflects, I was pretty depressed and may have even killed myself if not for the ability/willingness to write. As I have said before, without writing, I would be either dead or insane. This poem, one of my shortest, was actually published in UWGB's literary magazine, "The Sheepshead Revue."


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