I Don't Want to Be Right
There isn't much that I can say about the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon (and related events) on Tuesday, September 11, 2001 that hasn't already been said 1000 times before. Yes, it's a tragic event with unfathomable loss. Yes, it's an act of war. Yes, whoever is responsible has made an incredible mistake and will soon realize the galactic stupidity of their actions by being utterly destroyed. I can, however, say what I feel are the largest implications of the events.
I was at work having a truck cleaning meeting when the events first took place. I was completely oblivious to anything until I got back inside the office and found out by radio and phone what was going on. Throughout the day I maintained my cool, calm, and collected masculine exterior, though at times it was difficult with the TV on in the office. When I got home, however, I cried like a little baby. I have had a 3-foot by 5-foot flag hanging in my apartment for several years. When I saw that and heard "The Star-Spangled Banner" being played during the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace in England, I completely lost it. But, as I have been known to become quite teary-eyed upon hearing our national anthem (particularly Jewel singing it at a Superbowl a few years ago), even this did not evoke the strongest response from me.
What did elicit the strongest response from me is the following. I have one of the most negative, pessimistic views of the human species. Actually, it's not so much pessimism as it is realism. This can't really be put into any essay or other sort of writing because it is so pervasive and extensive in my life. It is more day-to-day comments and reactions to things that I see and hear. My coworkers perhaps know this best. I have even said there would be no one happier than me to see the entire world come to a quick and sudden end, such as being swallowed up by the sun or something like that. I am incredibly cynical, skeptical, and suspicious when it comes to our species. I don't want to be this way. Having received a higher education, having listened to a great deal of "creative music," and having done quite a bit of reading, I want so desperately to believe that I'm wrong, to be proven wrong, to be shown that we're better than my outlook. But we're not. And that's a pretty ugly feeling, to know that your very own species sucks more than any other. Humans are indeed the worst of all beasts, the most despicable of all creatures.
Events such as these recent attacks, "common" terrorism, Columbine, Oklahoma City, and so on keep reinforcing my view that we are just as shitty as ever and will probably always remain so. We still have, at our very core, our despicable nature. Supposedly, with our higher intelligence, we are better than every other species; but in reality, we are no better than any cockroach or disease-ridden rat. We may even be worse because at least they don't have these false delusions that they are these great, wonderful, beautiful creatures with big brains. They don't pretend they're so good. They don't have these delusions of grandeur that they're such terrific beasts, and many don't kill their own kind (at least, not on the grand scale or with the same bravado that humans have a tendency to kill on or with). When other animals do kill their own kind, it's because of instinct or territory and not because of ideals, religious ideas, gods, or beliefs. ...And non-human animals don't even have the benefit of "higher" thought processes. I want to believe that humans are great organisms with unlimited potential for knowledge and learning and creativity and betterment of every member of our species, but then something like this happens, and I simply cannot believe in that idea. We are still just as horrible to everyone as we have ever been. Yes, it's true that on the day of and in the days following the attacks, there were many acts of heroism, a glimmer of hope that just maybe we aren't such vile creatures, but I cannot get past the enormous magnitude of the precipitating events to see this. We could be terrific beings, but instead we sit around either watching Jerry Springer or inventing new ways to kill each other.
And largely at the core of the attacks? Religion. Jihad. This is what religion does to humans. There is little difference between the Crusades of centuries ago and jihad of today. Yes, the methods are different because technology has changed, but the basic underlying motivations are essentially the same--to spread a "religion" and/or punish those who refuse to convert or who do not believe (the infidels). Even if jihad has at its core a twisted idea of Islam, those performing these acts of terrorism still see it as their proper and right religion, and that's enough. Twisting a religion (or what is claiming to be a religion) is an easy way to get people to follow you. After all, religion is little more than a set of beliefs. I could call myself a religion (Azarothianism) if I wrote down all of my ideas. It is intangible. Be it a cult or a "legitimately" recognized religion, they are all adhering to a set of beliefs, be they factual and realistic or not. I can hear the argument, "Well, this isn't religious because Islam doesn't condone killing or suicide." Yeah, well, neither does Christianity. And yet the Crusades went on, and Christian "martyrs" died. This is all for "religions" and "gods." It is disappointing to me (yet somehow really not all that surprising) that after thousands of years, the human species can still fight over religions. I would've hoped we'd have grown up long ago and moved past this silliness, but we have--unfortunately--not. With millions of adherents to one religion or another, will religions disappear? That would certainly be great, but it is, of course, highly unlikely.
The call to prayer has been strong this week. I have not prayed and will continue not to pray. How can I endorse something I don't believe in? I have not gone to church this week as so many have encouraged and/or done. Again, how can I endorse something I don't believe in? I still believe in separation of church and state. I still believe all religions are a sham. These views remain strong, regardless of the circumstances. I won't suddenly become religious and go to church like I'm sure so many have done. It's almost a fad. Jump on the bandwagon.
There is little doubt that the United States will retaliate against those responsible with extensive military action. The Nation has no choice, lest the deed go unpunished, leaving the U.S. even more vulnerable to future attacks. The killings are handled with more killings. Humans are indeed quite wonderful to each other, aren't they? It is unfortunate that the U.S. was put in this position, but, to quote Anton Szandor LaVey's Satanic Bible, "Hate your enemies with a whole heart, and if a man smite you on one cheek, SMASH him on the other!; smite him hip and thigh, for self-preservation is the highest law! He who turns the other cheek is a cowardly dog! Give blow for blow, scorn for scorn, doom for doom--with compound interest liberally added thereunto! Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, aye four-fold, a hundred-fold! Make yourself a Terror to your adversary,..." Revenge will be exacted, and payback's a bitch. I expect nothing less.
The United States is the Great Satan. This is plainly obvious. Clearly, this is why so many people want to get into and become citizens of the country. The U.S. is the freest, most advanced nation on Earth. This is indeed a terrible thing (Sarcasm Alert!). We can get what we want, when we want it, and a lot of it really cheap without having to worry about the government going after us in the process. I would guess the U.S. has, overall, some of the happiest citizens on the planet. We don't live in some overcrowded desert turd of a country ruled by religion alone. I think if some of those people got away from the brainwashing of their government and spent some time in the United States, they would have a little different outlook. If they spent some time in the U.S. they'd be pledging allegiance to Old Glory along with the rest of us. Instead, we seem to have a sort of sour grapes thing going on here. Their country sucks so they want our country to, as well. Their women can't even walk around without veils over their faces, and here we have strippers. This brings me to some reports I have seen in the last few days. The night before the attacks, some of the terrorists were at a strip joint buying lap dances and drinks. Those in the U.S. have the freedom to choose these activities or to ignore them. These guys chose these activities. Sex and alcohol. Aren't those sins? And then there's that pesky killing and suicide thing. Killing for "God" or "Allah" is OK, but any other kind is not? That almost makes sense. Altruistic suicide is OK, but any other kind is not? That almost makes sense. What about the double whammy of suicide bombers? That should be an über-sin since it's killing both self as well as others. Supposedly, though, this is one of the most righteous planes one can achieve. Maybe I'm not supposed to get it, but I just don't understand this. I guess hypocrisy must be common in all religions. That's nice to know.
I don't want to be right, but unfortunately I know that I am. As I wrap up this essay, I begin to wonder how long it will be before I start to have the dimmest glimmer of hope that maybe humans aren't that bad. I'm sure it will be quite some time. And I begin to wonder how long it will be before reality creeps back into my head and shows me that we are, truly, the worst of all animals. I'm sure it will be even less time.
Originally written:
September 15, 2001
Put online:
September 16, 2001
Discussion:
N/A
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